Category Archives: Anger

Finding an Answer to the Anger

Anger, Parenting

I’ve written (and written and written) about Eli’s anger, sorry if you’re sick of it.  I am too, honestly.  But praise God – we’ve found answers!

After a particularly rough patch with Eli, our pediatrician recommended moving from seeing a counselor to a child psychiatrist.  We went, he listened, and very quickly and confidently said Eli has ADD (not ADHD), it’s 90% chemical, and he was on the wrong medication.  “Get him on the new meds and you’ll see a difference in two hours.”

I was elated, Chad was skeptical – spot on for both of us.  We ended … Read the rest

Growing Weary of Anger Management

Anger, Parenting

I started writing about parenting Eli’s anger a year ago.  A YEAR.  Quite frankly it’s wearing me down.

It used to be that he would keep it together all day at school, then come home and just fall apart.  But now we homeschool, and he doesn’t have to keep it together (I keep reminding myself that’s a GOOD thing).  So he yells at me for rather small things…
– there isn’t any meat to put in his scrambled eggs
– his math is too hard
– his math is too easy
– the milk was put away when we should … Read the rest

Finding a Rhythm

Anger, Kids

As we soldier on in this journey with Eli’s anger, I took some wise advice from a friend and started keeping track of his good days and bad days.  Guys, I’m so excited.

It turns out Eli has three good days and then one bad day.  Over and over and over.  It’s like a break through, without actually being a break through.  I know when it’s coming!!!

I didn’t tell Eli at first about the discovery, because he tends to have the attitude that this is all happening TO him and he has no control over it.  I was … Read the rest

When Words Hurt More than Sticks and Stones

Anger, Parenting

So Eli’s anger.  I can see that we’re getting better at managing it, and though every fiber of my being wants to engage, I have seen time and again that if I don’t his outbursts are shorter lived.  There’s a win.

The problem I’m seeing now is that he is getting bolder with his disrespect.  He flat out refuses to do what I ask, and when I calmly give him the opportunity to choose different words, he repeats himself.

“What happens if I don’t?”
“I’m not doing my homework.”
“What’s another reason why I should?”

What concerns me more … Read the rest

Practicing Anger Management

Anger, Parenting

Last month I began writing about Eli’s anger problems in an effort to invite you into my world, but also in hopes to make sure no one is going through this alone.  Here’s where we’re at currently.

After a trip to the therapist, we have some new “tools” to use at home.

1. Calming down is the goal.
When Eli is angry, the goal must be calming down.  It is not giving him a consequence for his anger (which is hard for me), it is not reasoning with him (which is hard for me), it is not threatening him with … Read the rest

Anger Management

Anger, Kids

Having a blog has been so helpful for me.  I can look back through past posts and sort of get a read on where our family is now and where we’ve been.  Creating a new category called “Anger” tells me something about our current state of being…

I love my boy.  Eli is sweet and intellectual and honest.  He has a great moral compass (as long as his sisters aren’t involved).  But he has always had an anger issue.  I remember very clearly when he was about five, he was mad at me about something.  He glared at me and … Read the rest