I’ve written (and written and written) about Eli’s anger, sorry if you’re sick of it. I am too, honestly. But praise God – we’ve found answers!
After a particularly rough patch with Eli, our pediatrician recommended moving from seeing a counselor to a child psychiatrist. We went, he listened, and very quickly and confidently said Eli has ADD (not ADHD), it’s 90% chemical, and he was on the wrong medication. “Get him on the new meds and you’ll see a difference in two hours.”
I was elated, Chad was skeptical – spot on for both of us. We ended … Read the rest
First let me tell you that when we were a public school family, I fell into the “go back to school” camp during any kind of break. So I wasn’t sure how our first Christmas break would go this time around, now that we homeschool.
Much to the dismay of my children, we did school the first three days of “break”, because we don’t have to follow the school schedule. Or so I’m trying to tell them. Then we traveled to see family for 4.5 days. Then we were sloths for a week. By Friday the second week of break … Read the rest
I decided to log off of Facebook for 30 days this fall. I was hesitant – What if I miss important life events? What if there is news? How will I know what’s going on?
When I logged back on, I discovered I hadn’t really missed anything. At all. Don’t hate me – your lives are important to me. But the conversations I got to have with some of you were better I think because I hadn’t been keeping up on your lives via the internet. I didn’t already know what you did last weekend. Instead we got to actually … Read the rest
Our home has always been loud. From having three in diapers to now three (almost) tweens. We’ve got some volume going on.
On a not unrelated note, these children have never been allowed in the bathroom with us. There needs to be one place I can go, in my home, alone, and experience some quietness.
The shower. Oh the shower.
I don’t just listen to music in the shower, I will spend as much as five minutes choosing just the right playlist for my mood. Oldies? Led Zeppelin? The Head and the Heart? Let iTunes decide? Gah, let me look … Read the rest
I started writing about parenting Eli’s anger a year ago. A YEAR. Quite frankly it’s wearing me down.
It used to be that he would keep it together all day at school, then come home and just fall apart. But now we homeschool, and he doesn’t have to keep it together (I keep reminding myself that’s a GOOD thing). So he yells at me for rather small things…
– there isn’t any meat to put in his scrambled eggs
– his math is too hard
– his math is too easy
– the milk was put away when we should … Read the rest
First I have to go back about two years. Chad brought up the idea of homeschooling, which began the biggest fight we’ve ever had in our marriage, and it lasted about three weeks. We then decided to never talk about it again.
I then was a substitute teacher for two years, and told Chad I might be capable of homeschooling, but still not willing. Two very different feelings. He smiled and nodded.
This summer I told Chad I might consider homeschooling in two years, when Grace would be going into high school and Ada would be done at our … Read the rest
I had the opportunity last weekend to attend my third Hearts at Home conference, and as usual it did not disappoint. I heard great insight from so many speakers, took page after page of notes, and was inspired to continue to be a better mom.
One thing I noticed (and appreciated) about each speaker is that they weren’t pushing me to be like them. They were merely sharing their journey and encouraging me along my own.
We are each on our own journey, with our own map and our own equipment, and let’s not forget our own unique traveling … Read the rest
As we soldier on in this journey with Eli’s anger, I took some wise advice from a friend and started keeping track of his good days and bad days. Guys, I’m so excited.
It turns out Eli has three good days and then one bad day. Over and over and over. It’s like a break through, without actually being a break through. I know when it’s coming!!!
I didn’t tell Eli at first about the discovery, because he tends to have the attitude that this is all happening TO him and he has no control over it. I was … Read the rest
Today, I am waving the white flag. I surrender. I give up. I quit. However you want to word it, that.
I called a friend to take a child. THE child. The one who makes me want to shoot lasers out of my eyes, and then hug him tight to let him know I won’t ever give up on him.
Please make sure that you have that friend – the one who sees your white flag and will answer with an open door, no questions asked. And you will gladly reciprocate should the need arise.
That’s it for this post. … Read the rest
So Eli’s anger. I can see that we’re getting better at managing it, and though every fiber of my being wants to engage, I have seen time and again that if I don’t his outbursts are shorter lived. There’s a win.
The problem I’m seeing now is that he is getting bolder with his disrespect. He flat out refuses to do what I ask, and when I calmly give him the opportunity to choose different words, he repeats himself.
“What happens if I don’t?”
“I’m not doing my homework.”
“What’s another reason why I should?”
What concerns me more … Read the rest