Me: I’ll see you at 3:30!
Eli: Why 3:30?
Me: Because that’s when you get out of school.
Eli: When does school start?
Ada: Monday, of course.
Me: Who went potty and didn’t flush?
A unanimous shout of “Not me!” from all three children.
Me: One…
Eli: I swear mom, it wasn’t me!
Grace: Mom, I’m not lying.
Ada: Well, it wasn’t me either, but I’ll flush it anyway.
Guilty!
[subscribe2]… Read the rest
Ada: How old are you?
Grandpa: 59
Ada: Oh my gosh! You’re going to die soon!
Grandpa: (laughing) I hope not! But when I do, I’ll go to Heaven.
Ada: I know. With God.
Grandpa: And do you know who else?
Ada: Grandpa Lyle.
Grandpa: And do you know who else? (looking for Jesus as an answer)
Ada: Well, someday me.
Ada: Adventures in Lalaloopsy Land!
Eli: The Avengers are in Lalaloopsy Land?
If only…
Chad: Did you make apple cider?
Me: Yes.
Chad: Oh. It smelled like apple pie.
Me: Sorry. Do you want apple pie now?
Chad: Yes.… Read the rest
Grace: When I get older, I’m not having babies.
Ada: God puts the babies in your tummy Grace, you don’t decide.
Eli: Ada. When mom had three babies, SHE decided to have three babies.
Grace: I’m adopting.
Ada: I’m having three babies.
Me: What are you going to name them?
Ada: Well Ezra and I have to agree on names. (this girl is seriously committed to Ezra…)
Grace: When I adopt, I’m naming my babies names from “How to Train Your Dragon”. Hiccup and Astrid.
Eli: Ada scared me!
Chad: She’s 2/3 your size, she smiles all the time, and … Read the rest
Eli: I got two F’s.
Ada: Does F stand for Fantastic?
Chad: Nope.
Leftover night…
Eli: That steak tasted a little funny, but the more I ate it, the better it got.
Such devotion to meat.
I got firewood one day, and was trying desperately to start a fire by myself. It didn’t work.
Ada: Well, at least you tried. (Not in an encouraging voice, more in a giving-up voice)
Then later when Chad got home…
Eli: Dad, can you start a fire? Mom tried, but she failed.
Me: Wow.
Eli: Sorry! I was trying to think of something nice … Read the rest
Ada: Mans are mans and girls are girls!
Grace: Repeat after me. I
Eli: I
Grace: Say your name
Eli: Say your… I mean, Eli
Pumping gas…
Ada: There’s regular, silver, and ultimate. Why aren’t you getting silver? Our van is silver.
Me: It doesn’t matter what color your car is, you can get whichever gas you want.
Ada: So what color is the regular gas?
Me: The gas isn’t colored, the silver gas isn’t silver.
Ada: Well, can I have more information about this?
I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to the way she thinks and talks. I … Read the rest
Ada had four cavities filled and a root canal recently. Picture if you will…Ada in polka dot sunglasses, a hot pink nitrous oxide hose on her nose, enjoying cable TV cartoons, and multiple shots of novocaine.
Mom! I can’t feel my chin. Poke it. Right here. Poke my chin. I didn’t feel that!
My sister is nine and my brother is ten. AH! I mean eight. My brother is eight.
I speak weirdly and I can’t whistle. Watch.
My cheek is fat. Does my cheek look fat?
I’m six and a half. My birthday is right after Jesus’ birthday. (she … Read the rest
Me: I’m going to walk down to Taylor to get the car. I will let you stay here. Can you make good choices while I’m gone?
Eli: Yes.
Grace: Yes.
Ada: Maybe.
Me: Grace, did you finish your laundry?
Grace: Yes.
Me: Did you put it back in your room?
Grace: Silence…
Ada: That’s a no.
20 minutes later.
Me: Did you finish your laundry?
Grace: Yes.
Me: Did you put it back in your room?
Grace: Yes.
Me: OK. Please brush your hair and-
Grace: OH! You mean – oh – I didn’t – oh – I need to … Read the rest
We went to a Fall Festival, and were watching a Blacksmith demonstration.
Me: OK kids, let’s go.
Ada: No, we want to watch! This is AMAZING!
One minute later, Ada gets up and walks out, eyes on the door.
Ada: I’m not amazed anymore.
At Chick-Fil-A…
Me: You can get just ice cream, ice cream with a brownie mixed in, or ice cream with a cookie mixed in.
Ada: Which would you choose?
Me: The one with the cookie mixed in.
Ada: I’ll choose the one with the brownie mixed in.
I’m choosing … Read the rest
Grace: Daddy, I’m medicating!
Chad: It’s meditating.
Ada: (arms folded and quite angry) Eli is trying to make me help him and I do NOT want to help him and I do NOT like it when he tries to make me do things.
Me: Did you try using nice words?
Arms go down straight, lips go straight and stern, eyes get little, she turns and walks away to use nice words. Her body language could use some work.
[subscribe2]… Read the rest
At a friend’s house for dinner, from the kids’ table we hear a loud burp followed by lots of laughter.
Friend: That’s not how we behave at the table.
Eli: Crazy loud hand fart.
Right on cue, boy.
Ada comes to the car after school with what looks like a big bun in her hair.
Ada: Mom, look at my hair!
Me: Is that a knot, or a bun?
Ada: It’s not a knot. Haha, get it? It’s NOT a KNOT??
Me: Yes. Where did you get the rubberband?
Ada: I made it out of my hair!
Me: Right, so … Read the rest