My Karate Kids

We decided to have supper at Friday’s, and the waiter was being goofy with the kids.
Eli: You’re funny.
Waiter: No you’re funny.
Eli: No YOU’RE funny!!
Waiter: NO YOU’RE FUNNY!  Funny looking!
Eli cracks up
Ada: He lies.  (with her usual straight-face, dry delivery)


We make pizza once every week or two, and when we do we have a picnic in the living room and watch a movie together.  After Eli finished, he laid back with his feet on the footstool, patting his belly.
Eli: I’m glad I’m a human.
Chad: … Read the rest

Grace, 3 years old

I was trying to explain “college” to the kids, and dorms when we were driving to Purdue with Sheri.
Me: It’s like a building full of bedrooms, and there’s one for girls and one for boys.
Grace: Why don’t the boys and girls live together?
Me: That would be inappropriate.
Grace: Yeah, it’s inappropriate for girls to watch boys when they’re sleeping.
Me:  Yes it is. (and creepy…)
Grace: Girls shouldn’t see boys sleeping, because sometimes their shirts are up and their tummies are out.
(Yes.  THAT’S the reason boys … Read the rest

Me: Ada, how was your first day of preschool??

Grace (18m) not happy to be awake Eli (7m) thrilled to be eating

Ada: Kinda good and kinda bad.
Me: Ok, well what was kinda bad about it?
Ada: The teacher wanted me to put the trains away, but I wasn’t done playing with them!  I think I should not go back there tomorrow.

Me: Ada, Miss Toya said you’re having a hard time listening when it’s time to come in from recess.  Is that true?
Ada: Well yes, but I didn’t want her to tell you that!!

Eli shouting at … Read the rest

My circus at the zoo

Me: a ranch hand is someone who works on a ranch

Grace: Like a taco ranch?
(I seriously have no idea what that means)

Officer Mauricio (he helps with carpool at Ada’s school): Hi little Grace!
Ada: I’m Ada. (very dry, NOT very amused)
Officer Mauricio: Wow, she was very quick to correct me!
(you have no idea buddy!)

My girls, 2  years ago

Sheri: Where are Grace and Eli?  Did you drive them to school?
Ada: No, I’m not allowed to drive.

Ada: I want the green cup.
Me: Well, how do you ask?
Ada: Please?
Me: Please, what?
Ada: Please… gimme the green cup.
Me: Please, can I have the green cup?
Ada: Yeah.
(oh boy)

Ada saw a billboard for an a/c repair shop, which pictured a really warm cartoon man
Ada: If your hair gets on fire, your face will get really hot and sweaty.  So you should never get your face on fire.

Me: … Read the rest

Eli’s super hero moves

Ada: Momma, will you hold me while I do a flip off the footstool?
Me: No, that’s not safe.
Ada: WHAT?? Are you nuts?
Me: NO!  Are YOU nuts?
Ada: No… maybe dad is.

Me: I’m glad you went to the store with me today.
Ada: I’m glad you gave me a chocolate chip cookie piece at the store. (bakery sample)

Eli: I’m saving the last piece of gum for my NEW great grandpa.
Me: Who’s your new great grandpa?
Eli: Rich!
Me: No, Eli, Rich is your new uncle. (Sorry, Rich.)

(Ada’s playing baseball … Read the rest

My Wednesday posts will start featuring funny things from all three kids, so I decided to rename them “Wednesday Wit”.  Enjoy.

Ada had an attitude as early as 2

I’m sitting here on the laptop, and Ada won’t stop talking.  It’s getting pretty funny now, so I thought I’d send it out for you all to enjoy.  Keep in mind, this is all constant, no breaks…

“Mom, why are you typing?  Why did you hit that button?  Your nails are too long.  Maybe you should cut them.  When I get older I will wear that shirt you’re wearing.  Girls don’t wear ties or bow ties.  Grace taught me that.  Boys wear boy stuff and girls wear girl stuff.  A-D-A!  That’s my … Read the rest

Ada is in time out here for opening Eli’s present without him.

Hey Mom, I want a rainbow donut, a rainbow muffin, aaaaaand a rainbow cake. OH! And a rainbow muffin holder. Can you make those for me?

Me: Ada, can I have a bite of your cinnamon-sugar toast?