Today was recovery from yesterday.  I slept in.  At 8:30 Chad brought a tired, wrapped up Ada into our bed to rest with me.  We chatted a little, then I asked if she was ready to get up.  She said she wanted to rest some more.  Not a problem.  Then she tried to talk me into breakfast in bed – my bed.  Nice try.

Puzzles, Wii, cartoons, and suddenly Chad was home for lunch and we were still in our jammies.  So recovery was a success!  We ate lunch with him, and she said, “If you need to go to work, I get to be the only kid there!”  So we went in to work for a bit.  She brought toys and kept herself busy for 2 hours, she even let me be in a meeting.  She was so great.

Then an awesome friend took her out for ice cream (which Ada directed the entire time – surprise, surprise).  I’ve enjoyed my time with Ada, but it was in her absence that I realized she has been at my side since Sunday afternoon.  I mean literally at my side.  When we sit on the couch her entire side is touching my side.  When she goes somewhere she asks if I want to come with.  At church she asked me to follow her.  That building is like a second home to her, so it wasn’t a fear issue or a getting lost issue.  She’s just alone.  Of course she would never admit to feeling lonely because she said on Saturday that she wouldn’t miss Grace and Eli.  She can’t go back on that.  So instead it looks like her being my shadow.  And I’ll let her be my shadow.  I get her.  She needs to be strong – she needs us to see her as strong, and she needs to feel strong herself.  So I will help her to do that, and find moments to talk to her about Grace and Eli so that she knows she doesn’t HAVE to be strong.  It’s ok to be sad and lonely and vulnerable.  (Neither of us is too good at that.)

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