Or at least fake it til you make it, right moms?
This is who I’m trying to be while parenting… calm and confident. You want to throw a fit about the fact that it’s time to do homework? Awesome. You are free to do so in your room. I will not be joining you in your fit. I am calm and confident. No, you may not stomp on every stair along the way. No, you may not grunt like an animal along the way. No, you may not punch the wall along the way. Downstairs we are calm. We are peaceful. Keep it in your room. Are you in your room now? Good, because now I will go to my room and be not-calm and not-confident. How many times do I have to do this?!?!? And exhale. Go back out and do it again.
Oh parenting.
I need to take a refresher course on Boundaries with Kids it seems. Let your no be no, and kids can’t influence that no matter how hard they try. I’ve gotten back to telling Grace, “It’s ok to be sad and it’s ok to cry, but I’m not changing my mind.” I wrote here about it being my catch phrase for a while, but then I stopped. It’s working again (for both of us), I don’t know why I ever stopped doing it. Parents need reminders just like kids I suppose. We forget. We reach a sort of plateau in our family where things are going well, and we don’t have to use these tools, so they stay in our “tool box” for a while and we forget they’re there. Then when we might need them again we forget we even have them. “How do I deal with this?” Oh yes, get out the tool box and look.
The main thing in our circus right now is I have to maintain control of myself AND of the situation. If I don’t, one of them will. And we’ve ALL seen what happens when THEY are in control!
Calm and confident, friends. Calm and confident. We got this.
Calm and Confident. Consistently Calm. You don't scare me. Throw your fit. Go ahead! I am a Mother on a Mission. Hear me roar! 🙂
(a little pep talk to myself!) 🙂
Yours is a blog that needs to be read by everyone. Myah – nice addition through your comments. Think of the next generation and its impact on society with mothers like you.
Thank you friends. Being calm and confident seems much more possible with you on my side. 🙂
I think we start to see behavior changes and we begin to relax – not needing that tool anymore. But then… the behavior creeps back in, and it's time to tighten up again – and reach back into our tool box. And Janna, I agree with you – it's incredibly helpful when we surround ourselves with other Mothers who can support us in our Mothering journeys, cheer us on and share some tools that may work. The continual encouragement is something I cannot Mother without. I love you! Keep us the wonderful work! 🙂