There are goods and bads in every stage of parenting.  We always come out the other side stronger, smarter (hopefully), and sometimes with a few emotional scars.

We’re nine months into parenting a 10-year-old, and I’m not exaggerating here – something changed the moment she turned 10.  This is slightly worrisome for me because in June we’ll have another 10-year-old, and another 18 months after that.  So…

I’m learning that I have to shift the way I parent, which is not an easy thing to do.  She wants so desperately to be grown up but she just isn’t.  I’m trying to bring her alongside me more, into the decision-making and into my reasoning.  When she seems to be having a fit about something, I am trying so hard to stay calm and decide whether she needs more explanation about why I said no, or whether I need to reevaluate my no.  When she was little I didn’t give in to fits, but now the times they are a’changing.  And it doesn’t feel like I’m giving in, but rather taking her ideas into consideration more and valuing her input. It’s the weirdest thing ever 😉

And sometimes…well sometimes she needs a good, calm, momma-at-eye-level-reminder of who the momma is.  Disrespect and rudeness won’t ever change my mind or earn any new privileges.  I try to keep those moments few and far between, and she knows when they happen that she needs to step back, calm down, and try again with a different tone.  And I let her come back again with a different tone and continue the conversation.

This parenting deal is NOT for the faint of heart.  For real guys.

But, I know that the work we are putting in now is shaping the adults they will be, and that is sooner than I think.  So I will take a breath, pray out loud, and keep fighting for them (and sometimes with them) because they are worth every second of it.

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