This stage we’re in is great.  The kids are learning to be more self-sufficient, and Chad and I are learning what we can trust them with.  They let me sleep in on Saturday mornings.  They can get themselves cereal and toaster waffles for breakfast.  I am comfortable letting them play outside without me (with boundaries and rules).  They are learning responsibilities little by little.  They are old enough to actually help me in the kitchen instead of just make a mess and think they’re helping.  If I want to take a day trip to Indy or Chicago, they are easy to pack up and head out.  They can now shower themselves, beginning to end.  It’s glorious.

This stage we’re in is kind of crappy.  Someone is usually hurting someone else.  I am learning how to deal with eye rolls, sighs, groans, the exasperated “WHAT??” at my request to put laundry away.   Any song or joke will inevitably take a turn towards potty humor.  I literally have to explain to them that hitting/kicking/slapping/punching “softly” is not ok, contrary to what they think.  I still, with children who are 7, 8, and 9, leave stores when their behavior reaches “that point”. **Most of the items in this list happened just today.

I’ve heard several times that it doesn’t get easier or harder, it just gets different.  Boy is that the truth.  There are stages that I’ve been happy to say good-bye to (sleepless nights, three in diapers, potty-training), but some that I’ve been a little sadder to see go (dimpled fingers, toddler-speak, sweet littles who fit on my lap).

In this stage, I hold on to the fact that I’m teaching them how to respond to each other.  These learned responses will translate into their relationships with friends, peers, and beyond.  When you’re angry you can’t slap someone, even if it’s softly.  By the way, your sister wouldn’t describe it that way.  MY response to their poor behavior is teaching them something.  Oh boy…

So they’re getting lesson after lesson (after lesson after lesson) of conflict resolution, anger management, time management, and many others.  And I’ve been named their teacher, for better or worse.  Sometimes they’ll learn from me what they should do, and sometimes they’ll learn what they shouldn’t do.  And that just plain sucks.  But when that happens, I will apologize, explain what I did wrong and what I should have done instead.  Hopefully that last part is the lesson that sticks.

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