I read an interesting article recently about the struggle for women to have careers AND families, and I realized that I don’t like the phrase “have it all”. Well, really I guess I don’t like what it means. This phrase suggests that in order to “have it all” you must have a successful career and a family. So women who don’t have children only have half? Or women who choose not to work only have half?
What if we reframed it? What if…”having it all” meant being successful at your chosen life. Maybe the single woman who works full-time and is content has it all. Maybe the married woman who has decided with her husband that they don’t want children, but focused careers has it all. Maybe the woman who has decided to stay home full-time to focus on her children and her home has it all. Maybe the woman who stays home full-time, and home schools, and loves it, has it all. Maybe the woman who stays home part-time and works part-time without feeling like she is sacrificing at either has it all. Maybe the woman who is the breadwinner so her husband can pursue his dream that isn’t earning income yet, and does it with joy because she loves him, has it all. And maybe the mom who works full-time and has found the balance so she doesn’t feel like she’s sacrificing anything, has it all. MAYBE IF YOU ARE CONTENT IN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT YOU DO AND HAVE, YOU HAVE IT ALL.
I have a God who loves me. I have a husband who loves me. I have three healthy children who love me. I have a part-time job that is willing to be flexible around my children’s schedules. Our house is big enough. We go to a great church. We live in a great neighborhood, and the kids go to a great school.
I have it all.
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Well said! And quite insightful!
I love this. It is so true. As a mother, full-time career person and wife of a husband who stays at home – I can at times feel like the “have it all” can leave me wanting or needing to be some where else when I am someplace. It’s not about what I have or don’t have – it’s about that I do love my life – I have a God that loves me, two children that are beautiful, smart, funny and healthy, a husband that works hard at home and loves us all, a good church, good friends, fun sisters and a home that is my sanctuary – that’s my “all” – and it is good.
Yes! Thank you for responding, Jamie, as someone who does “have it all” by the world’s standards. You make it work the best way you can. Sure sometimes it’s hard, but sometimes it’s hard for EVERYONE. Your all is indeed good.
so true!!