Me: I told you to get in bed.
Grace: I am in bed.
Me: No, you’re sitting ON your bed, playing with toys.  That’s not what I meant, and I think you know that.

Grace: Can I have dessert tonight?
Me: Not tonight.
Grace: What about candy?

Eli has learned the trick of muting the TV instead of turning it off.

Me: Ada, please stop playing with that noisy toy in the kitchen.
Ada: Is it annoying?
Me: A little.
Ada: Well, you should let kids make noise sometimes.
Me: (breathing, breathing) Your places to be noisy are upstairs and outside, not in the kitchen when I’m cooking your breakfast.

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