I get frustrated when my kids don’t listen.  I also get frustrated when they don’t like what they hear.  Yes they’re kids, they’re learning, they push boundaries, blah blah blah.  It’s exhausting.  Today I need to make a joke about it so I can continue to calmly sip my coffee.

I said…it’s time to get dressed.  They heard…it’s time to all go into one bedroom and play, preferably while one of us is getting dressed so we can be inappropriate.

I said…it’s dinner time.  They heard…nothing.  

I said…it’s bedtime.  They heard…I hate you AND fun.

I said…you need to clean your room.  They heard…I hate you AND fun.

I said…your twenty minutes on the Wii is up.  They heard…I hate you AND fun.

I said…you CAN play outside, but you must stay in our yard.  They heard…you CAN play outside, please ask every five minutes if you can go to a friend’s house.

I said…”no” to (fill in random request here).  They heard…ask at random intervals to see if I’ve changed my mind, and please act as though every time is your first time asking.  OH, and act shocked when I still say no.

I said…it’s time for shoes and coats.  They heard…we have five more minutes to play.

I said…what do you want for dinner?  They heard…WHERE do you want to go for dinner.

I said…I love your daddy.  They heard…the grossest thing imaginable. 

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