I’ve written before about Grace’s anxiety, and we are still learning A LOT about her and how to parent her through this.  We are now trying a new resource called Turnaround.  It is an audio program for the child, rather than a book for the parent to read then figure out how to apply to the child.  It’s about 6 kids who go on a hike, each with a different social problem: Generalized Anxiety Disorder (like Grace), shy (not your average kind of shy, but won’t go to school shy), perfectionism (again, the kind that disrupts normal daily activities), panic attacks, OCD, and one more I’m not remembering…  The child figures out which kid in the story she is the most like, then identifies with him or her throughout the journey.  There is also a journal she works on after she listens to the program.  She does things like draw her fear, then draw herself conquering her fear.  She writes what she would say if she could talk to her fear.

Grace has really enjoyed it so far!  She asked if she could take it to school and listen to it there (sorry, no).  She asks every night if she gets to listen to it.  And perhaps the most exciting part for me so far is that it is giving me insight into how this little girl thinks and feels.

There are two CDs for parents, and it is done by two psychiatrists who have parented anxiety themselves.  They know what I’m dealing with.  They explain that her worries are so real to her that they are all the proof she needs that she shouldn’t or can’t do something.  Her feelings are proof.  I had no idea.  I just thought they were irrational, because I didn’t understand them.  I am getting new tools and vocabulary to parent her in the way that she needs.  I have newfound patience for her.  I have learned how to spin things in a way that helps her.

For example… on Tuesday mornings she goes to school an hour early for dance class.  She LOVES dance class, and this week she started a new session on tap dance.  She was so excited.  But when it came time to get out of bed, she was less than excited.  She was sobbing and said she HATED dance class.  Before I would have something like, “No you don’t.  Get up or you’re going to be late.”  I know, I’m such a great mom. : )  Now I’ve learned that she IS feeling this, it just needs to be reframed for her.  So this week I said, “I don’t think you hate dance class, I think you hate getting up early.  And remember – you get to start tap dance today and you were really excited about that yesterday!  So I know you are going to have so much fun at dance class today once you’re not tired anymore.”  And she was able to get up and get going without anymore fuss.  She still had some tears, but they didn’t stop her from functioning like they tend to do.  She really did hate something, we just had to correctly identify what it was, then move from there.

I guess that’s one of the biggest lessons I have learned so far.  Her feelings are real, they’re just misdirected.  I don’t understand them, and I don’t generally share in them myself, but that does NOT mean they aren’t real for her.  And I have to teach her how to manage them so that she can be a healthy adult who can do these things on her own someday.  But no pressure.[subscribe2]