When Ada gets mad, she stays there.  She sets up camp and has no intention of leaving.  Every word out of her mouth and movement of her body reflects her mood.

Normally after I pick her up from school, we get in Grace and Eli’s carpool line and I let her sit in the front with me.  Today I asked if she was buckled, she said yes, then I realize she actually wasn’t.  I told her the consequence for her lie and not being safe would be that she couldn’t sit in the front with me and would have to stay buckled in the back while we wait in their line.  She set up camp.  She spouted off about how it wasn’t fair and she was mad and she wanted to live at grandma and grandpa’s and move to Mexico.  Ignore, ignore, ignore.  I always tell my kids they’re allowed to be mad as long as they aren’t disrespectful, and so far she hadn’t violated that.  But then…. she said she wished she could leave me at home and never see me again.  Boundary crossed.  I informed her of this offense, then thought quietly of what an appropriate consequence would be.

I decided that she needed to understand that her words have power, and she needs to choose them carefully.  I told her that since she wished she could never see me again, for the rest of the day I was done being her mom.  I would not help her, get her snack, feed her supper, etc.  (I will still cook supper, but she will need to fix her plate on her own.)  She seemed unphased by this.  But as I type, she is laying on my arms inches from my nose, suddenly incapable of getting her own snack even though she does this very thing everyday.

“Mom.  Mom.  MOM!”
“I’m sorry Ada, but you said you didn’t want to see me anymore.”  This is the only reply I will be giving her today.  I’m not holding a grudge, I just want her to learn the power of her words.  This could be a very long evening…