I reached this lovely point yesterday evening.  I had been approaching it little by little all week as my children had one fit after another, and I continued to calmly but firmly give out consequences.  But yesterday they gave me a shove into the red.  I won’t go into all of the long details, but they were riding bikes and decided they didn’t like the boundaries I had given them.  They were mean, disrespectful, disobedient, and throwing epic tantrums.  I calmly but firmly (are you seeing a theme here?) told them this was not how I expect them to behave and so we were now going home.  Their tantrum level grew, and I didn’t say a word, I just pointed home.

This continued, and I told them they needed to stay in their rooms until dad got home because I wasn’t going to listen to their mean words anymore, and I didn’t.  Eli even opened his door to yell, “WE DON’T WANT TO BE YOUR KIDS ANYMORE!” and I just continued watching TV in silence.  At this point I had a decision to make.  Yell or remain silent.  I had no in between.  I was d-o-n-e.  I felt empty inside, and I had no more to give… at least nothing loving.  So I chose silence.  When Chad got home and I filled him in, he did NOT choose silence. 🙂  My hero was here, and he stepped in to protect me from the three little monsters who had tried their best to convince me that all of the work I put in EVERY DAY to turn them into adults who love God, love people, and make good choices was for nothing.  At dinner, he made them tell me their favorite things about me.  He filled me back up.

My point here is this, parents: when you have that choice to make, between screaming and silence – choose silence.  Close their bedroom doors.  Close YOUR bedroom door if you have to.  But believe me, I know from too much experience, choosing screaming doesn’t make it better.  Screaming only frays everyone more, including you.

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