We went to Pine Lake Saturday afternoon for about three hours and had a lot of fun.  Well, the ten or so minutes where we couldn’t find Ada weren’t so fun.  In the shallow part of the lake there are two kids’ slides.  Chad and I were in the water watching the kids go down the slides over and over again.  Then Chad said, “Where’s Ada?”  I looked around, not worried, this happens all the time when you’re out-numbered.  But as the seconds passed my worry grew.  Chad got out of the water and looked around the slides.  He looked on the beach.  He looked in the kids’ play area.  I held onto Grace and Eli so that I could look without losing anymore children.  Then some poor little girl was trying to make conversation and it was all I could do to not throw her ten feet away.  Chad came back and shook his head no.

So I handed the kids off to him.  I went to the nearest lifeguard and said the words no parents ever wants to escape their lips: I lost my little girl.  She told me to go to the front counter and tell them.  So I ran up there, tried my best to steady my voice, and had to say the words yet again.  This time they were followed by: What is your plan for this?  This momma’s in action mode now!  I told them what she was wearing (praise Jesus that included her life jacket!), her name and age, and they sent employees off looking and spreading the word.  I then took off running.  I was trembling and praying, singing worship in my head and trying my best to mean the words.  I went past the two kids’ slides, past the big straight slides, over to the blue curly slide, and there she was.  She looked at me and smiled with her big blue goggles on, having lots of fun going down the curly slide.  One of the employees found her and was waiting for her to get out of the water.  She had no idea what was going on.  I grabbed her and hugged her and didn’t want to let go.  I tried not to cry, but tears slowly made their way down my cheeks.  I asked her what she was doing, told her I was so scared because I couldn’t find her anywhere and I was worried she was hurt.  She simply replied, “I wanted to go down the curly slide, so I went with another group.”  She noticed the tears and started wiping them off my cheeks.  I took her to Chad, and his reaction was much the same.

I thought I was ok, then we went to the kids’ play area, I sat on a bench, and started to really cry.  You know, that kind of ugly cry that just refuses to be contained any longer and your lips move in funny ways.  My stubbornness was beaten by the intense fear I felt for that ten minutes.  An intense fear that I don’t believe I’ve ever felt before and pray I never feel again.  As I sat their crying I realized that the boldness and confidence that I’ve always admired in Ada are the same boldness and confidence that led her to go with complete strangers to a large curly slide without us, without telling us, without being afraid.  So it seems I still have some work to do in guiding that.

Every trait has a healthy and unhealthy side.  I believe kids generally start out on the unhealthy side of all of them, and it is our job to bring them over to the healthy side.  I was under the misguided notion that “boldness and confidence” were healthy, but I got a new perspective Saturday.  Hopefully I can learn from this, become a better-equipped mom, and this will never, ever happen again.  Please, Jesus…