Just stay with me on this one…

I love to pray the way David does in the Psalms.  He pours his heart out in the most honest, raw way I’ve ever seen.  He sometimes doubts and questions God’s timing.  Then he says the most important word: but.  He’s honest with God about how he’s feeling (He knows how we’re feeling anyway, so why not be honest about it), then stops, and relies once again on his faith and trust in the God that he knows and loves.  He’s not being fake, he’s not just saying what he thinks God wants to hear.  He is being genuine in both parts of his prayer.

I think prayers like this can be a big, big part of the healing process, even the surrendering process.  I’ve been using this as a model for a long time now; not every time I pray, but when I just need to be honest and sort of puke some emotions to God.  I’ve been praying a lot for Pastor Stan, and will likely be writing a lot about him as well as I continue to process all of this.  Saturday night when I was praying, I was telling God that I knew He was only going to show us one step at a time, I wasn’t going to ask for more, I didn’t expect more, I know Him better than that.  Even though I know this, sometimes I still wish we could get more.  Then I said “but”.  Nothing came.  I had nothing.  There was silence.  This time I didn’t have a “but”.  Then something incredible happened.

God whispered to me.

You don’t have to be afraid of the steps you can’t see.


I don’t need to know all of the steps, because I know He does.  Do I want to know all of the steps?  Yes. But do I trust my God?  Yes.  What I think is really cool, is the next morning Pastor Scott gave a really great message about this exact same thing.  He taught from Joshua 3, where God has Joshua lead Israel across the Jordan River.  God only gave Joshua one piece of information at a time.  Joshua was obedient with each piece of information, with each step.  What he was asked to do seemed crazy, but he did it because he knew God and he trusted Him.

I know God, and I trust Him.  So I will walk with Him, in each step, and I will not be afraid of the steps that I can’t see.  When I feel overwhelmed and sad, I will just tell Him (He knows it anyway), and He will walk in it with me, because He knows me and He loves me.  We can’t do this without relationship, friends.  Please, please let this be a time where we take this relationship so much deeper.