Eli has been in three different soccer programs over the past couple years, and they’ve all been learning experiences for us to say the least.  Our exposure to soccer parents has been… interesting.  As Eli gets older, we notice more and more the varying ability from one boy to the next.  The atmosphere at the 4-6 year old game was much different than at the 6-8 year old game.  At this morning’s game, Chad and I were discussing how important it is to remember that Eli is only six.  He’s SIX.  He needs a lot of grace at soccer practices and games right now.  He needs a lot of encouragement.  What’s hard is that we do get frustrated – he’s not aggressive in the least.  He’s not in there, going after the ball, trying to get it from the other team.  He’s there because he loves soccer, and if his team wins he will be more excited than any other boy there.  But the reality is, he probably won’t make any goals.

We’re trying to find that balance between letting him be six, and encouraging him to do better.  I think I had a light bulb moment on that at the soccer field this morning.  At least I hope so.  The boys on the field are at varying levels.  On a scale of one to ten, some are three, some are five, some are nine.  Realistically, Eli’s a three, for all of the reasons I listed above.  I’m not talking poorly about him, I’m just trying to paint a realistic picture for you AND for me.  If I look at the other boys on the field, particularly the ones who are a nine, I can’t jump to the assumption that “other boys his age are a nine, so that’s where he should be.  We need to work to make Eli a nine at soccer.”  That’s not fair to Eli, and would end up making everyone in our family hate soccer.  We need to look at where Eli is at.  He’s a three.  So our goal needs to be four.  Through encouraging him, practicing at home, not letting him quit, we will work at getting to four.  Then when we make it to four, our goal will be five.  Our bar needs to not be the other boys, it just needs to be one higher.  God’s standards for us aren’t other people, so why should that be our standard for our children?

Today Eli made it through the entire 60-minute game without quitting, sitting on the field, or asking his coach how many more minutes.  That was our victory for today.  And boy did we celebrate that!  We told him over and over again how proud we were that he worked hard and didn’t quit.  (We also asked him to quit picking dandelions while he’s on the field).

So I just have one request: give your kids some room.  Let them be kids.  Let them screw up.  Let them not be perfect at sports when they’re so young!  Let them just enjoy playing the game.  Alright, perhaps that’s more than one request.  But let me just say this.  When we’re sitting next to each other at the soccer field, and you’re screaming at your son using all these technical “soccer terms” and I’m just asking my six-year-old to stop picking dandelions – you’re the one who looks ridiculous.  Not me.