I wrote last week about being nice to your spouse, and I wanted to follow through with an update.  I think/hope I’m doing pretty well, knowing that I need to write an update was good incentive!

We did hit one speed bump last Wednesday at soccer practice.  It was freezing and raining and there were puddles everywhere and it was 90 MINUTES LONG.  The girls didn’t want to be there, we didn’t want to be there, and best of all, Eli didn’t want to be there – it was his practice.  He kept asking how much longer, he kept standing still and complaining about how much his feet hurt, and the girls kept complaining about how boring it was.  It was a great night.  (There needs to be a way to type sarcasm.)

Then, naturally, Ada had to go to the bathroom.  And, naturally, the outdoor bathrooms were locked.  So I drove her over to the Y.  Then Chad called because he had to leave for Bible study.  I was irritated because I thought he was irritated.

PAUSE

I was irritated because I thought he was irritated.  How many arguments have started this way?  Lack of communication, assumptions, letting your inner-monologue run wild, call it what you will.  It’s just dumb.

BACK TO THE STORY

So I get back to the soccer field, immediately on the defensive, in fight mode, thinking that HE THINKS his schedule is more important than taking our five year-old to the bathroom.  Of course he doesn’t think this.  Then we started talking about it (or fighting in calm voices) and I said, “Don’t talk to me like that.”  And he said, “I’m freezing and I’m wet.  This is just my voice!”  Alright.  So I had forgotten that while I was in the car with two whiny girls, he was out in the freezing rain, getting soaked through two coats and two shirts.  I had forgotten to think about him.  I had forgotten.  I was only thinking about myself, and putting words in his mouth.  Darn it.

So I did what I usually have to do, I sent him an “I’m sorry” text after he left and I had time to think it through and realize the many times I had screwed it up.  We talked about it more when he got home, each admitting where we had screwed up and apologizing.  Next time we’ll know better – that’s the goal, friends.  To learn, to be smarter, and to do better, NOT to repeat the same offenses.  I vow not to be on the crazy cycle (there’s a little Love and Respect reference for you, I highly recommend it if you haven’t read it).

I love my husband.  I know that God created him for me and me for him.  I promise to work hard every day to make our marriage better, and to love him well.