I’ve talked before with friends about how I have to be three different moms, given that I have three very different kids.  I was silly enough to think when I was pregnant with my third that I had it all down – although really, I hadn’t even potty-trained anyone yet, what was there to have down already?  The thing is, it doesn’t matter.  None of them are the same in any way about anything.  Let me give you some examples.

Potty training
Grace took several attempts, but once she got it it was very quick, really she had it in one afternoon.
Eli took months and months because he was just lazy.  He didn’t want to stop playing to pee, and we still have to tell him to go pee when he see him doing the “potty dance”.
Ada took one weekend.  I put her princess potty in front of the TV, gave her endless strawberry milk, and told her she could get up once she went potty.  Eli told her she could get up and I said, “Eli, you’re not in charge of this, I am.”  And Ada looked at me and said, “No, I’m in charge.”  I said, “You’re right, you are in charge of going potty.”  That was it.  She didn’t have any accidents all day.  The next day she had eight accidents.  At the end of the day, I was really frustrated and asked her who was going to be in charge of this – her or me.  She looked down, shoulders slumped, and said, “You.”  And she was potty-trained from that precise moment on.

Eating
Grace is basically a vegetarian, except for shrimp.
Eli loves all things meat.
Ada will try anything and everything we put in front of her.

Sleeping
Grace gives up on slumber parties with the three kids after about 30 minutes because she wants to go to sleep and the others are being too loud.
Eli just likes to play in his room until he goes to sleep, which I’m ok with.
Ada will stay up as late as she possibly can, coming out of her rooms as many times as she possibly can – checking on us, asking what we’re watching, asking if that’s popcorn she smells, etc.

Fits
Grace cries like her spirit is broken and can never be repaired.
Eli yells and stomps and kicks things and it seems as though his body simply cannot handle all the anger within him.
Ada just shuts down.  Well, actually, the first step is calm persistence – she asks and asks and asks, rewording her request and adding extra sweetness.  But when she gets mad, she shuts down.  She’s done talking, she’s done walking, she’s done eating, she’s done with eye contact.  She’s done.

Their Currency (What I can negotiate with when they need a consequence)
Grace hardly ever needs a consequence, so I honestly don’t know what her currency is right now.  I suppose playing outside.
Eli’s is his toys or time on the Wii.  We’ve had to remove all toys from his room and even his top bunk.  He gets 30 minutes of Wii a day, which is taken away if he’s had to “pull a card” at school that day, and there’s no Wii on Sundays.  He hates this.
Ada’s is choices.  So I just use whatever the next choice is.  If she’s going really slow getting ready in the morning, I take away her choice to choose her clothes and I pick them out for her.  Then she usually shuts down.

This is why I’m One Tired Momma.  Or rather, three tired mommas.  I know many of you can empathize with me on this.  I’ll never have this parenting gig down, because they’ll keep growing and changing.  Their currency will continually change, their fits will change, their tastes will change.  And I need to be able to change with them, adjusting to their needs and reshaping their boundaries.  Who needs a nap?