As I’ve mentioned several times, I’m currently reading Boundaries for Kids with my Life Group. It is, hands down, the best parenting book I’ve ever read. (I love Babywise too, but for today we’ll call that a sleeping book.) A common theme for this book is to validate your children’s emotions and feelings, but stay firm. Be consistent. Let your No be No. So my new catch phrase around the house is I’m not changing my mind.
Grace, I know you’re sad, and it’s ok to cry, but I’m not changing my mind.
Eli, I know you’re mad, and you can yell in your room if you need to, but I’m not changing my mind.
Ada, I know you’re frustrated, and you don’t like it when I say no, but Im not changing my mind.
It has worked wonders!! I’m certainly not saying I’ve moved one step closer to being a perfect mother, but for this season, in this house, this is working. I don’t know for how long, but I’m thankful for each day it earns me, for each argument it avoids, for each meltdown it clotheslines!
My friend Sheri encourages me in this regularly, telling me that I’m teaching my children that they can trust me. When I say something, they know I’m not going to flip flop on it. They can trust me. Is there anything more significant than that?? I want to model trustworthiness for my children.
Thank you to my Life Group friends for walking through this book with me. I appreciate you girls more than you know. 🙂
Sounds like a book that I need to read. I've been trying really hard to "let my yes be yes and my no be no" with my kids for the same reason!
Good Job, Janna! I struggle with the part of – NOT getting worked up and letting the crying, whining, and madness get to me after I say, "It's ok… but I'm not changing my mind." The trying to block it out and not get worked up part – You know what I'm talking about? I have this saying posted and run it through my head all day, "peace… it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." Calm is power! I'm getting stronger, wiser and more "trustworthy" each day! 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement!
Great encouragement and wisdom today, Janna! So thankful that we get to do this journey together……thanks for letting me learn from you! 🙂
back at'cha.