Last month I began writing about Eli’s anger problems in an effort to invite you into my world, but also in hopes to make sure no one is going through this alone. Here’s where we’re at currently.
After a trip to the therapist, we have some new “tools” to use at home.
1. Calming down is the goal.
When Eli is angry, the goal must be calming down. It is not giving him a consequence for his anger (which is hard for me), it is not reasoning with him (which is hard for me), it is not threatening him with … Read the rest
My identity: momma. This word carries some weight, am I right? Sometimes it’s the weight of the world, and sometimes it’s the weight we need to keep us moving.
When I consider loving my identity as momma, I can get overwhelmed. It’s because there are SO MANY sub-identities mixed up in there! I’m their alarm clock, chef, chauffeur, nurse, therapist, teacher, maid, referee, activity coordinator, event organizer, AND momma. Plus more that I can’t remember because I’m tired.
I believe we can settle our thoughts if we focus on the ONE identity we are fulfilling at the moment. When … Read the rest
I tend not to follow trends or what other people are doing just because they’re doing it. Really sometimes that’s my only reason for not doing something. Just because everyone else is. Being stubborn is like a full-time job.
In this particular case I’m talking about my kids’ activities. Their school activities can get sort of crazy, but manageable. An hour before school (at school), 10-ish concerts a year, but that’s about it. Also God blessed us with non-athletic children, this helps.
In the summertime, however, we shut down. We go swimming, play in the sprinkler, go to church camp, … Read the rest
Here I am, at the last of the Fruits of the Spirit. I must admit, I’m kind of sad. This has been a good exercise for me to be regularly searching and learning more about the Bible – learning about a topic well enough to explain it to others. It is good.
Self-control. This one might be the hardest to exercise on a daily basis.
Proverbs 25:28 says a person who lacks self-control is “like a city whose walls are broken through.” Without self-control we are defenseless and open to attack. When my walls are broken through, I am short. … Read the rest
I really love systems. Stop laughing, Chad. I like to know that there is a plan, if you are not on board I will tie you to the boat. Enjoy the ride.
I may have reached the systems limit in our home.
Me: We’re going to have a new system for screen time.
Ada: AH! No more systems! It’s too much! We have a chore system. A point system. We have to earn money. We have to do homework. I can’t handle anymore!
Me: Would you like to hear my system BEFORE you have a freak out?
I … Read the rest
This month with Hearts at Home, I’m blogging about “Loving Your Purpose”. This has always been a challenge for me – usually because I didn’t know WHAT my purpose was, and sometimes because I just didn’t want to love what I was doing.
Wiping other people’s body parts, washing dishes, switching laundry, begging for a nap…where is my purpose in this? I’ve had these thoughts too often to count. The problem, I think, is that having these thoughts affect my mood and behavior. If there isn’t a purpose in what I’m doing then I won’t be pleasant while I’m doing … Read the rest
My email signature is, “Lord, show me how You see them, show me how You’ve gifted them, shoe me how to guide them. Amen.” This fall as Grace has started middle school and the new opportunities it brings, God has shown me some of her gifts. And that I’ve been wrong about them.
My girl can sing. She could sing on key before she could speak. I’m not even a little bit exaggerating right now. And the kicker is, she refused to be in choir. In choir you have to sing the same songs over and over. In choir you … Read the rest
My husband is my teammate in this crazy life we lead, and he’s the only one I would want by my side. Especially when the wheels come off.
When my dear son is angry and hurling hurtful words at me, I can count on Chad to be my protector. In those moments he is more my husband than Eli’s father. I know it, Eli knows it. When he crosses a line, I inform him that our discussion is over and he will be continuing it with my husband (I use those words), he is not happy. He’s not afraid of … Read the rest
A friend posed the question on Facebook, How did you know you were done having babies, and then how do you cope with all of the lasts that come with being done? This is one of those questions where I can only share my experience, and wouldn’t dare assume that it’s the same for everyone, but here it is nonetheless
Here’s the scene. Grace was 3, Eli was 2, Ada was 6 months old. I found myself buying a pregnancy test and my entire body shook until I got the results. Negative. That was the very, very clear moment when … Read the rest
My oldest daughter was nervous about starting middle school, so we had spent the last few weeks of summer preparing her for this new adventure. When she got in the car with me at the end of her first day, she was happy and proud and confident. She did it! She successfully made it through her first day of middle school.
That evening as I thought back the stories of her day, I realized that I needed to tuck this success away for the next fear. Someday I will need to remind her that she “made it” before, and … Read the rest