As we soldier on in this journey with Eli’s anger, I took some wise advice from a friend and started keeping track of his good days and bad days. Guys, I’m so excited.
It turns out Eli has three good days and then one bad day. Over and over and over. It’s like a break through, without actually being a break through. I know when it’s coming!!!
I didn’t tell Eli at first about the discovery, because he tends to have the attitude that this is all happening TO him and he has no control over it. I was afraid that this information would only add to this idea.
Here’s where it’s getting tricky. A couple weeks ago, on a really bad day, Eli lost all electronics. His idea to earn them back was 4 good days for video games, 5 good days for television, 6 good days for the computer. I wasn’t going to be that harsh, but sure. Then I learned about his rhythm! So he hasn’t earned anything back because of that darned fourth day. I decided to tell him, because he was feeling like he would never earn electronics back. “Your fourth day IS harder. I have a chart to prove it.” But he’s not doomed to a bad fourth day, we just have to work harder.
So that brings us to yesterday. Yesterday was the fourth day. I didn’t alert him, I just knew. And he was picking fights ALL DAY. I worked and worked and worked to keep it under control and redirect and remind and not engage. Then at bedtime, I told him that he did it. He made it through the fourth day. That boy jumped up and hugged me the biggest hug. Now he knows he can do it, and we will continue pressing on through these “fourth days” until they fade into the rest. These are the first tears of joy I’ve shed for this boy in months. I will not give up on this boy. And today God has given me fresh wind in my sails.