As I sat at church one particular Sunday with the communion elements in my hand, I found myself unsure of what to pray. It’s not like a keep a journal of my sins so I can ask forgiveness for each one on communion day. Do I ask forgiveness for my habitual sins? Pride, selfishness, doubt, faithlessness, (and on and on and on)?
Then my mind shifted from the vague sins, to those I commit and know what I’m doing. The sins that make me pause, have a conversation with myself (or the Holy Spirit?), then decide to go ahead with the transgression anyway.
Those sins that basically place me at the crucifixion spitting in Jesus’ face. Those sins that put the hammer in my hand, affixing Jesus to the cross. The sins that I, a professing follower of Christ, willfully committed.
Those are the sins that I need to lay on the floor and beg forgiveness for. Those are the sins that separate me from God and make me need Jesus. Those are the very reason Jesus carried that cross through town.
I will never deserve what He did. But my hope is that I will choose the sin less frequently, and instead choose to remember what He did, to never stop trying to be more like Him.