**This is a post that was a draft…I’ve done some tweaking.
What’s my story? I don’t really have one – either in the blogging world or in my spiritual life. It seems like most of the blogs I read are written by women who have a story – adoption, a child with special needs, addiction, a husband in the military, homeschooling, infertility – a story to share with other woman, and bond with them on a level that anyone outside of the circle could never fully understand. But it seems like as Christians we are supposed to have a story (our testimony) to be ready to share at any moment. So I’ve been thinking about this, and praying, and waiting for some whispers from God. I’m still not sure that I have a “story”, but here are some blips that would probably make it in there somewhere, things that God might use.
- In my spiritual life I didn’t have a mountain-top moment where I decided to accept Christ’s offer of salvation, a moment whose date and place will forever be etched in my mind. I did accept Christ’s salvation, but it was more of a process. I went to church all through my childhood and didn’t know that I wasn’t a Christian – I just thought I wasn’t a very good one. I then learned that there is a difference between knowing ABOUT Jesus and having a relationship WITH Him. I’m learning that it’s OK to not have that “moment” because when I meet someone who asks if I have a moment, and I say no, and they seem relieved because they don’t either, I think God uses it.
- One of my boyfriends (NOT the one I ended up marrying) became very controlling, and while shaking a fist in my face threatened that I shouldn’t piss him off. I’m not proud to say that I didn’t break up with him right away, but I’m forever grateful that I broke up with him before anything else happened. There is no amount of good in a significant other that outweighs that kind of bad, and when I share that story with a young girl or her mom, I think God uses it.
- Chad and I started having sex when we were in high school. Yep. I don’t judge pregnant teens because I could have been one. We regret that we didn’t wait until we were married, and I can’t begin to tell you how often I thank God that I did marry Chad and neither of us has been with anyone else. That still doesn’t change the fact that this particular sin caused us some struggles early on in our marriage. And even though I married the boy I slept with, I STILL wish we had saved that for marriage. I questioned God’s forgiveness for YEARS after we were married. It’s a big deal. And when I share that story, I think God uses it.
- Chad and I have been married for 12.5 years already, and my goal for our marriage is that we would be a safe place for others to come to – not because our marriage is perfect, but because we work at it every single day, because I choose to love Chad every single day. I want others to notice how much we love and respect each other. And when that happens, I think God uses it.
- Our kids are eleven months apart and eighteen months apart. So far all five us have survived. When I meet an overwhelmed mom whose kids are close together, and I’ve made it past the stage she’s in, I think God uses it.
Maybe our stories are made up of the little everyday-ness of life. Maybe it’s the moments of, “I’ve been through that, and here’s how I survived.” Maybe it’s just having someone to make us feel like we’re not alone.